Shel

will refresh and revise as time progresses - thank you for this Gordon

A bit about me:

You can call me Shel, Shelley, Shelbelle, Shelzbellz. My preference is Shel and my pronouns are she/her. I am curious, analytical, creative, a bit obsessive when I get stuck, compassionate, passionate.

According to Myers Briggs my personality type is INFJ. “Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.”

My son has autism. This means many things but the most important is that his needs are higher and they take precedence over almost everything else.

I dance with a multitude of brain/mind complexities. This transpires in the workplace in subtle and obvious ways. I get stuck and loop, I interrupt (working on this), my working memory and focus (squirrel!) are faulty and I will lose my train of thought right in the middle of talking about the thought (so frustrating). I have faced discrimination in the work place after mental complexities have reared their colourful heads. This has caused damage to both my confidence and willingness to be myself. It has also given me an intolerance for being unknowingly and knowingly mistreated.

My Map

What I value

• Sincerity - Humour - Integrity - Honesty - Compassion - Empowerment - Trust - Open mindedness - a willingness to learn and try new things - Creativity

• Acceptance of all the different ways of thinking, knowing and being

• Acceptance of all the different ways of believing, learning and being in this human experience

• Freedom for all of us to be ourselves - every day is a fresh start

• Embracing the creative and finding the fire and passion that can fuel change but not at the detriment of others

• I love to laugh. Even in the depths of a deep and dark depression I can laugh from my toes, easily.

• Always aiming for congruency. In myself, with work, with groups, with family.

What I don’t have patience for

• Bullshit, politics, talking behind other peoples backs, saying one thing and doing another, bullying, gaslighting, manipulating, agism, racism, discrimination, sexism, ablism

• Being told what to do and say and how to behave, being controlled in any way

• Having what I am thinking and feeling misinterpreted and assumed

• Being shut down and silenced and/or seeing that happen to someone else

• Having my competence questioned and doubted

• I assume good intentions but once harmed I have a difficult time opening up, trusting and being creative again

• Stifling anyone’s creativity

How to best communicate with me

• Email, Slack works, just @ me so I don’t miss it and Zoom meetings all work

• Google Hangouts, Slack meetings and random phone calls don’t work so well for me (I am one of those who jumps and gives their phone the evil eye when it rings)

• If you have communicated and I haven’t responded please reach out again

• Active listening, open dialogue and do not shut me down

• Quiet acknowledgement, encouragement and collaboration are magic for me. I cannot hear feedback when it is presented only as what I am doing wrong and/or when I am expected to listen but am not being listened to.

How to help me

• Be kind and respectful, always

• Be accepting and flexible if we think/act differently, as I will in return

• If I am not understanding, am appearing stubborn, am stuck and/or am really not picking up what you are putting down, please come from a place of patience, kindness and curiosity.

• If I appear to be spinning, again coming from a place of kindness and curiosity will help slow me down enough to hear what is being said.

• Gently and kindly let me know when I have made a mistake or if I am heading in the wrong direction, the sooner the better.

What people misunderstand about me

• People often misinterpret me trying to understand what is happening/has happened as argumentative.

• I can come across as extroverted but am actually introverted. I get social anxiety in groups and am not a fan of gatherings.

• I don’t like being the centre of attention or performing, unless I am telling a story.

• I love making things, it’s like medicine for me. When I have creative ideas that aren’t wanted/desired I get sensitive.

• When I am having big struggles that I won’t talk about except for with a professional, it can come across as withdrawal, grumpiness, gruffness, distractedness and sensitiveness. The bipolar spice that lives in my brain is a complex challenge and I don’t like talking about it BUT I love supporting others who are also struggling with their noodles.